The Biggest Push

Today Barnes Jewish College of Nursing held an amazing ceremony in honor of mom, who was an Assistant  Dean at the college. It was there I noticed how much my mother touched so many lives, and it was truly humbling. Everyone talked about the "elegance" my mother had, and it put a smile right on face. I was asked to speak unexpectedly, which pretty much terrified me with a room of 100 people. But while I was up there I noticed how much I felt my mother within me and shinning through me. It was at that moment I wasn't terrified about the future, sad about the present and craving for the past. But I was hopeful for the future, felt strength to keep going in the present and was thankful for the past. I knew I had just lost my mother, and my best friend a few years back. Yet there was one thing for certain though, that I had both of them pushing me inside. I had the person who believed in me more than anyone else, constantly pushing me. Not only as a person, but as an artist. Parents always love their children's work no matter if its finger painting at the age of 3, or a beautiful peice at a grown age. But my mom always loved what I did. She knew that I could go far as long as I listend to my heart and kept doing what I loved. I remember one of our talks she huged me and told me "Rachel I will love you and be proud of you no matter what you do, and you could never let me down!" And that pushes me, and it will always will. I love you MOM, and so proud that I can call you my mom!